When someone puts in for Child Support, the proper thing to do is to find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support. The following are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. Or putting it another way... Who yo Daddy! These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out number 11. It takes the prize and ..3 is runner up. 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night. 2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks. 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again. 6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise. 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me. 8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well I don't have a clue. 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized. 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby. After all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart. Yep, you guessed it right. You are all paying taxes to support these dim wits.

Chinese Horoscope (Freakishly correct) Whatever you do, don't cheat! CHINESE HOROSCOPE: THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON, WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE CHINESE NEW YEAR FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS - DO NOT CHEAT OR IT WON'T WORK AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T. TAKE 3 MINUTES TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT. THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY 1st. Get PEN and PAPER 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. 2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2, WRITE DOWN ANY 2 NUMBERS YOU WANT. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER? 3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT 4. WRITE ANYONES NAME (like FRIENDS or FAMILY...) next to 4, 5, & 6. DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID 5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11 6. Finally, MAKE A WISH ARE YOU READY? HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME 1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2 2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE 3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7 4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4 5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL. 6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOUR LUCKY STAR 7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3 8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7 9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND 10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE 11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER REPOST THIS IN 30 SECONDS IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE. IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE

30 facts you didn't know about chuck Norris

<img src="http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b121/Leaf52382/shirtimages2.gif" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"> 1.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 2.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 3.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 4.The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE. 5.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 6.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 7.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 8.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 9.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. 10.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 11.When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. 12.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. 13.Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. 14.Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris 15.Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time". 16.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris 17.As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. 18.Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy. 19.Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever the fuck he wants. 20.If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down. 21.A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. 22.Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 23.To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. 24.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 25.Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live. 26.Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. 27.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. 28.Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. 29.When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. 30.Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

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